When you first dip your toes into the blogging ocean, it's natural to crave comments. You promote your post across every social media platform imaginable, eagerly awaiting feedback. Then, someone (and no, it's not your mum this time) leaves a comment. You're over the moon, practically dancing around the room with the cat in your arms experiencing such joy! You've done it! You've been noticed!
But then, you read the comment and… oh dear lord. It feels like they've taken an axe to your lovingly crafted post, chopping it into a million pieces with their disagreement and audacity. How bloody dare they!
Your first impulse? Delete that mean comment. Who do they think they are to leave such negativity on your post that took an hour to write and all day to promote?
Now, let's get a few things straight:
- Disagreement isn’t necessarily meanness.
- Correcting grammar isn't negative.
- Constructive criticism isn't horrible.
A truly mean comment is personal, incites hatred, or is outright insulting. If a simple disagreement feels mean, wait till you encounter the truly nasty ones. Women who defy norms, for example, often face severe online backlash. But when you're new to blogging, any form of disagreement can feel like a personal attack.
When reading comments, try to maintain a neutral mindset. You can't hear their tone, see their body language, or understand their intention through text alone.
I once stumbled upon a blog with chatty, engaging content, albeit sprinkled with typos and grammatical errors. Even someone like me, usually oblivious to such things, noticed them. On her about page, she ranted about the negativity of her readers, who pointed out these errors. She declared she was dyslexic, and this was her space. She refused to publish their ‘negative' comments.
I felt for her. Bombarded by well-meaning but perhaps overly critical readers, she saw deletion as her only recourse. It made me wonder how these comments were phrased. Even well-intentioned advice can come across as snarky.
Seasoned bloggers will tell you that ‘negative' comments can spark lively discussions. They also make you reflect. Yes, they sting, but they often come from a place of wanting to help. When someone challenges your expertise or originality, it hurts. But isn't it better to face a tough truth than live in ignorance?
These comments can be valuable tools in your journey to becoming a better blogger.
Overcoming the Sting of Negative Comments
If a comment leaves you doubting, reach out. Thank them for their time and ask if they're open to discussing their feedback. This opens a door to understanding and maybe even a long-lasting friendship.
So, what about you? Have you ever left a helpful comment that was misinterpreted? Have you deleted comments because they felt negative?
Remember, every comment is a chance to grow, connect, and learn. Embrace them, learn from them, and watch as they transform not just your blog, but you as a person.
Sarah x
Hi Sarah,
I’ve only had one negative comment and they were disagreeing with my post about not dealing with a certain company to start partner up and start a business with.
Other than that, I’ve been very lucky I guess. I can say that I think I will handle a negative comment in a professional way but I’m sure it’s easier said than done when in the heat of the moment.
I like the tips you shared. I think reaching out to the person is a great idea to get things sorted out.
Thanks for sharing. Have a great new week.
Cori
Hey Sarah,
I always say that negative comments are a good opportunity to not only reach out and provide useful solutions but alleviate similar concerns from others. There will always be trolls but sometimes even a spiteful comment can be turned into a positive.
All the best,
Stuart
Great post. (Bristolian accent by the way, pause when you see a comma). Any comment can be taken the wrong way, had it happen to one of mine once when what was to me a perfectly normal chat was taken by a moderator to be offensive so I’ve always tried to be extra careful, counting to ten before hitting ‘Submit’ to make sure that what I post won’t be taken the wrong way.
My background is video gaming where vitriolic comments are legion, there was a great article written about this aspect of our internet culture a few years back called “In The Firing Line” by Tom Chick, more recently our culture has been hit by misogynist movements (search #Gamergate if you want to see how bad things can get) but on the whole the trolls are in the minority. They’re just extremely vocal if you allow them free reign.
As a moderator, if there’s any doubt, we delete (there’s a common phrase – “Don’t feed the trolls which is ever so true).
Finally, if you find yourself being affected negatively by comments, remember the saying about sticks and stones, because that’s ever so true as well.
Short version? Great post, thanks for writing it! 🙂
After five years, I’ve realized there are three stages to blogging: fearing that nobody will leave a comment, worrying that someone will leave a mean comment, despairing that nobody will leave a mean comment. Why? Decent people hate mean commentators. If you reply in a civil way, folk will bond with you. Trolls don’t understand that. Of course, if the comment is really foul, you can just delete it!
Hello Sarah,
That happened to me before. Someone left me a comment saying that I had made some mistakes using apostrophe’s. I looked over my blog post and she was correct. I had made a lot of mistakes and I was really embarrassed once I realized it. They didn’t leave a real name but when they left the comment there was an email. I just emailed them back and thanked them and told them I really appreciated them letting me know. I really was glad that they took the time to let me know about these mistakes and now I am careful not to repeat them.
Thanks for sharing this with us!
Hi Sarah,
If a person disagrees in a comment, I sure do welcome it. It will incite a great conversation, as long as it is written properly. On the other hand, if a person leaves a negative comment to put me down and wants to show he/she knows better, that comment won’t go through. I would get in touch with that person and tell them if they said it in a different way, I can accept it.
I don’t worry about comments because I know I have control over them. And new kids on the block must learn this lesson.
There will always be Trolls out there, but we do have the power to delete them.
-Donna
Sarah,
Great subject matter! I always welcome comments, good or bad. Good comments tell you what you’re doing right and bad comments show you what you need to improve on. If we’re not trying to always be better, we are doing ourselves a disservice.
I have only deleted one comment from my blog ever. I could tell it was somebody trying to get people to their website as it was painfully clear that they had not read the post at all.
I understand that it is difficult reading negative comments about something you have poured your heart and soul into, but you have an opportunity to show character in how you deal with that.
The lady in your blog might have been able to build more awareness and support for her dyslexia had she taken the time to respond to each comment in a positive manner.
Thank you for sharing, I truly enjoyed it!
Andrea Hewett
Hi Sarah
Very thought-provoking post and many bloggers do have this fear even for a long time after publishing their first post.
It is we who call a comment negative if we don’t like. But if we try to think with the mind of the commentator he most probably mean to see our post more improved and just want to add value in it.
It is also said if two opinions are same then there is no need of one of them. If we keep receiving all comments appreciating our posts how can we feel their worth unless someone equally criticize on our post.
Thanks a lot for sharing a post on an important topic.
Hey Sarah,
Great write and thanks for sharing. Personally, I got to agree with Stuart. Negative comments are just useful for improvements. We make mistakes and most importantly, we take it for the good (and a pinch of salt). Don’t ever let the negative comments make your day worst.
Hello Sarah,
Comments are the way to start the discussion and it is started by the real people. The people come from different industries, different views and cultures so a non-agree-able comment is okay.
Like you said, what one writes is not the rock solid which no one can disagree of. What the one can do is to trigger some discussion to find out more of why one disagrees (if he/she didn’t mention the reason in their first comment.)
Another type of comments which are mean to insult someone (could be the language errs, laughing on writing style, not-so-solid facts to back what’s written, thinking a champion of the topic of blog post and mocking, etc.), they are unacceptable.
Negative comments are essential to understand how we are doing. No one’s perfect in the world and thus people’s feedback let one knows how he/she is doing. But crossing the mark of ridicule language to dishearten someone is not good.
Anyway – I think there is a direct correlation, or at least kind of a correlation between the type of comment system you have and the type of comments you get. Facebook and YouTube comments are notably horrible, while it seems as though Google+ and native WordPress comments are a bit better. I dunno, just a theory on my limited experience.
Either way, great post really appreciated your thoughts on this!
Great write up, actually this is what I would be integrating into my blogging skill list.